21+ Reasons Why Can't I Forgive Myself

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Today we are going to discuss about the importance of forgiveness in our life and why is it really hard to forgive ourselves. Forgiving people is good quality but practically it is difficult to forgive someone. Also, we will discuss some practical reasons why can’t you forgive yourself.

What are the reasons that we don’t forgive ourselves ? Do you know yourself truly ? have you ever tried to analyse yourself ? Why cant you forgive yourself or others? Let’s us discuss in details…

The simple answer to why can’t you forgive yourself is that you can’t change yourself. You’re afraid to change yourself, or do not want to get out of your comfort zone. When you’ve done a mistake in the present consciousness of mind and hate yourself, then it is difficult to forgive yourself in that similar level of consciousness. Forgiveness is a divine quality; it comes from experiences, the real meaning of life and its purpose.

Forgiveness is not a bad thing to avoid rather a divine quality to be acquired. But forgiveness without your improvement or change is not good. If you are not correcting yourself to not repeat the same mistake then, forgiveness is simple a wastage.

When we are doing well in our life, we love ourselves and we don’t care about small losses and problems. We always feel motivated to work and to make progress in life. We always feel couraged to forgive the small nuisances in our lives.

But when we are going through a tough struggle to make our life good, it becomes hard to forgive ourselves. In that period a small mistake or problem affects us a lot. And we don’t want to do that again.

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”
― Steve Maraboli

The intelligence of human beings increases as we experience life more and more. The intelligence of mind tells the nature of the person. Knowing yourself is the first step to live a happy life. You are the master of your life’s experiences and you can control your feelings.

I will not forgive myself for my mistakes. WHY? This much hate for yourself will throw you into self-doubt. Throw it out from your mind. If you’ve done any mistakes, convince your mind to forgive yourself.

As a psychological concept, the benefits of forgiveness have been explored in religious thought, social sciences, and medicine. Forgiveness is not condoning or forgetting.

How Self Forgiveness Leads to Light, Love, and a Joyful Life! | Sahilsharmablogs | TEDxOakParkWomen

Mistakes help us to not get on the wrong way, they are like the dumbs on the road from which we have to ride by being aside. It is like a reminder to us to be on the right way. Doing mistakes is not a bad thing, but repeating them is worst.

Live the life you want, work for your dreams; stay happy. These are the real blessings to be earned. Forget and forgive the people around you, who hurt you. But focus on yourself, don’t ignore your mistakes, forgiving your mistakes is good, but improving yourself is a must.

Related Posts: Why Can’t I Forgive Myself ? [ PODCAST ]

People are so self-centered sometimes that they get lost in their own thoughts and anxiety. Depression is the major problem these days, it is destroying most people’s life. We get stuck with our life problems and instead of searching for a solution, we only think about our problem from all the worst scenarios.

Any negative feelings will not allow you to forgive yourself. It starts visualizing more and more despising situations. You start feeling hatred for yourself. In such conditions, you don’t have enough courage to forgive yourself. Your thoughts are against you and such a condition of mind will always degrade you.

Our surroundings are the reason for depression. People may say living alone can also be the reason. Of course, both may be the reason, and except these, there are a lot more reasons. But our surroundings are the most absolute reason to get depressed. I am not talking about being physically surrounded by things or people, but mentally what our thoughts come around in our mind everytime. Negative thoughts make us depressed and we are responsible for that.

Sometimes for not any obvious reasons we get depressed or feel regret. These feeling always stay in us, but when we get entangled with such thoughts, all the negative thoughts associated with that surrounds us and create a whole big problem that leads to depression.

In such scenarios we become ill-tempered, our happiness gets lost. No one will love you or you also start hating yourself. Your life will become hellish. You lose your vision for life. For all such feelings, your mind is responsible. Surround your mind with positive thoughts and emotions vision, imagination, Goals, etc. Practice controlling your mind.

If you can control your mind there is no reason to become sad, but when you lose control over your mind, it will become the greatest enemy of your life. And for such situations you will not forgive yourself, when you do any mistakes, your mind is controlled by external circumstances.

Our life is the mysterious creation of God. We urge to gain external knowledge for our growth, but the real knowledge which can give you real success lies within us. Practice looking within your mind and explore yourself.

When you try to gain knowledge from external sources there might be chances that some negative energies also come into your mind associated with that. And will make you depressed, but when you understand the real truth, there is nothing that can make you sad. For you happiness and distress will be the same, you enjoy a peaceful life.

forgiveness facts

Forgiveness or blame should be claimed very carefully. So here we are going to discuss the most common reasons why can’t we forgive ourselves.

Most Common Reasons Why Can’t I Forgive Myself

These reasons will help you know your obstacles in forgiving yourself. Let’s discuss them in detail…


Life is a process of continuous change. There is nothing permanent, the worst and the best circumstances, both be will be changed according to their time. There is no reason to get attached to anything and get depressed about that. Don’t think of failures as a negative thing, rather failures bring many new things to learn and apply.

Enright says, “Despite the proven benefits of moving on, forgiveness can be a tough concept for some people to embrace. It can feel unfair to have to put in the effort to forgive when the other person was the one in the wrong. But that’s life.”


Habits are the smallest things that can bring the biggest change in your life. Every positive habit builds assurance of your success.

Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments. The first study to look at how forgiveness improves physical health discovered that when people think about forgiving an offender it leads to improved functioning in their cardiovascular and nervous systems. [wikipedia]


Wrath is a burning feeling that halts in our minds. It is destructive in nature, it distracts us from the path of peace and joy. It agitates us to do that which is not meant to be done. Wrath is a temporary feeling and its consequences can make us sad for permanent.

A wrong decision taken in anger can make you hate yourself and a feeling of hatred will halt in your heart that will become difficult for you to forgive and forget.

Studies at the University of Wisconsin found the more forgiving people were, the less they suffered from a wide range of illnesses. The less forgiving people reported a greater number of health problems.

No friends or Depression

Keeping the grief inside your brain becomes poisonous and it starts deteriorating your mind. Whenever you feel alone in life many negative thoughts may come to your mind. In the end, they make you more despair and distress.

In this situation, you need someone or a friend to whom you can share your thoughts unless it will create trouble against you. You will start hating yourself and never going forgive unless the root is damaged.

You are not other

We are surrounded by materialistic lust all time and they are all set in our minds. We get attracted by others with higher comfort than ours. A feeling of respect and affection for others develops within us. This feeling is associated with jealousy somewhere.

But our love is for their materialistic achievements and we forgive them even when they hurt us because we get illusioned by their lusty achievements.

Not prepared

Life acts whimsically with us sometimes. It is unpredictable and we have to face its all changes. Any desirable change brings happiness and joy and undesirable change brings despair and stress. We always work for our growth and these changes may come to us in the form of obstacles.forgiveness facts and research

If we can’t beat the obstacles we get envious of them and we count ourselves as a loser. You get disturbed by all these obstacles and you can’t forgive yourself for your mistakes by which you lost.


Attachment can be used for positive and negative changes in life. Attachment to any positive things bring positivity around you, also negative attachment brings negativity around you. Attachment is the cause of many miseries in life. Sometimes it becomes our weakness and when we lose it, negative feelings dwells in our brain.


Narrow mined people never succeed in life, they are just entangled with the limited things in their life. They create their own rules and regulations they don’t believe in others’ opinions. They look at the world from a negative perspective. They feel superior themselves and no one is above them. But they don’t forgive themselves when done something bad.

Emotional fool

Life is good when you have positive emotions in mind. Attachment is associated with emotions both are interconnected. Connection with the things which lead you further in life is a good thing, but if you get attached to the materialistic illusion around you then it will create problems for you. You will become an emotional fool if you can’t control your emotions.

Bad behavior

We have always been taught in life to respect others, but still, we hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally. We regret it, but don’t forgive. We always think about what he/she will think of us. Even if they have forgiven us, we don’t feeforgive ourselves.

Related Posts: Forgiveness – To Forgive Is To Set A Prisoner Free

We punish ourselves to overcome the regression. You feel self hatred. But over time you will overcome this, and your bonding with that person will get stronger.

Feeling of guilt

The guilt feeling will develop hatred for you. Unless you overcome the feeling of guilt, you will not forgive yourself. If you have feelings of regret for your guilt, you will forgive yourself easily. Don’t allow to stay the guilt feeling in your mind, if you have done wrong and feel regret for that, the guilt will be overcome easily.

But if it stayed in your mind, it works like poison it will degrade your values and thoughts gradually and self-hatred will develop in your mind.


If your mistakes have led someone into trouble and you know that their conditions will become worst in the future. This feeling will never let you forgive yourself. But again not forgiving yourself is also not the solution for this.

Related Posts: Forgiveness Is An Attribute Of The Strong [Explanation]

Wrong decisions

There is nothing right or wrong to be discussed, all have been defined and it can be changed. What seems right today may become wrong in the future and vice versa. Never get depressed by taking any wrong decision, because maybe the circumstance is the reason to make that decision wrong. Decisions can change your life positively or negatively.

Disgraceful or shameful

Fame and shame are the two extremes of society. Fame is earned through hard efforts but it can be lost just with a single mistake. Shame is the negative energy, it works like poison for us. Mistakes that can’t be forgiven and bring a lot of shame to us will make our life worse than hell.

Cheated on someone

We live in a society of different types of people. We don’t like the company of all of them and all don’t like our company. Due to this some people create their own negative opinion about ourself and hate us.forgive myself

Also, we sometimes like someone, and we in our ignorance hurt them by cheating them. But when we realize our mistakes they may forgive us, but we start hating ourselves.


Life is very unpredictable, even if we have control over many things. When it will bring joy or sorrow is not known. Sometimes it will be joyous to us, but when we are struggling with some problems and it brings unpredictable pain, we become envious and totally confused.

Every lock has a key; Every problem has a solution
The thing which we need is;PATIENCE

You feel helpless in that situation. If you don’t get the solution to come out of that you become depressed and lose your confidence. You start hating yourself, until you get the solution, but always remember, every problem comes with a solution.

Affected a lot by your mistake

If you have done something bad that you never expected by yourself, you will hate yourself for this. We are surrounded by different types of people. If you are surrounded by pessimist people, then they will make you realize that you have done something worst. They will make you start hating yourself. Don’t get caught up in their trap.


If you are pessimist person, it will become difficult to take a single step to your goal.

An optimist sees every difficulty as an opportunity

No one like to make friendship with pessimist people. Pessimist people will ruin their life on their own. A pessimistic mindset only suggests the negative things to do. And after realizing what you have done, it changes to self-hatred. Practice changing your attitude and become an optimistic person.

Missed opportunity

Success comes with consistent efforts and practice. Life brings many opportunities to become successful, but we don’t acquire the all. There might be many reasons to not acquire the opportunities such as fear, knowledge, etc. but we have to try not to miss the opportunities.

Just acquire the opportunities without being afraid of results. If you don’t acquire it, you will regret it and think you’re not capable to do that. You will not forgive yourself in the future for your missing the opportunities.


If you have hurt someone whom you respect a lot then you feel sad. You think of their despair because of yours and regret yourself. You will develop hatred for yourself and not forgive yourself.

Strict mind to improve yourself

why cant I forgive myself quote

Sometimes we acquire strict discipline in our life to achieve our goals. We also punish ourselves for not following it. It is good to be disciplined about your goals but for this, you should not make your mind trouble full.

Lost control over the mind

People get distracted due to the flickering behavior of mind. It is very difficult to control your mind but by consistent practice, you can get control over your mind.

READ : 21+ Reasons Why Is It Hard To Forgive People




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